Pale vs Tan

For those who don't know, I'm ABC, American Born Chinese. Pretty typical, first generation Chinese. I can speak enough to get by (ie, ordering food, asking where the bathroom is) and I read a little (hello, 4 years of Mandarin in high school) but I am by no means fluent in the language. But my parents came off the boat a few years before I as born, got arranged to date and decided to marry. And popped out bb Teresa.

Anyways, the reason for that little back story is that I've always grown up thinking that pale is beautiful. When a child is born, the family's definition of healthy is 非非白白 which means "pale and pudgy". Often it is noted that Asian parents want their child to have porcelain skin. At least this was true for me. My mom would always tell me to stay away from the sun and make sure I wear a hat at all times.

Now I've been pretty diligent in this respect. I took up gaming and programming so I was always in an artificially lit room away from those evil UV rays that darken up my skin. But this summer, I decided to stay in sunny Davis rather than heading home to foggy San Francisco and it's too hard to avoid the flaming ball of heat. And I got tan. OH NOES!

Yes, tan. Actually, I asked my friends and I'm not even that tan. I'm just tanner than my usual pale. But when I first got darker, I started to get a little sad because I thought I was getting uglier (silly, I know) and it took me a while to get used to the darker shade.

Most of my friends think I look better tan than pale. So, I'll ask you, what do you think looks better? Have you ever been told that you'd look better either pale or tan? Does it even matter?